Season of the Witch (2010)

Behmen (Nicolas Cage’s hair) and Felson (Ron Perlman’s chin) are two knights of the Crusade who are growing uneasy with their allegiance to the church. Having accidentally skewered a young girl with his favourite sword, Behmen deserts the holy army and leads his faithful sidekick on a aimless wander around the desert. Greeted by the plague, a friendly neighbourhood ambush and an inconveniently un-turn-down-able sacred mission courtesy of the recently dying Cardinal (Christopher Lee) and teamed with a ginger-herring priest (Stephen Campbell Moore), a weak-willed knight (Ulrich Thomsen), a navigating thief (Stephen Graham) and an ambitious alter-boy (Robert Sheehan), the uninspiring fellowship are tasked with escorting a suspected witch (Claire Foy) to somewhere or other for some-such reason. Should you still be awake by this point, know only that your impressive efforts will go completely unrewarded.

Somewhere, deep within the numerous generic dungeons of Season of the Witch, beneath the cartoonish plague victims, unconvincing CGI and Nicolas Cage’s God awful wig, there is a good movie cowering for its life. There is a well acted witch, a spattering of impressive effects and a (somewhat) winning ensemble. That Gone in 60 Seconds‘ Dominic Sena manages to waste absolutely everybody and erase all memory of Nicolas Cage’s near redeeming turn in Kick-Ass just serves to illustrate this man’s crimes against cinema. Despite his half-hearted attempts to distract his audience from their suffocating boredom with a rope bridge and a pack of wolves, It is distractingly difficult to stop imagining Perlman as Hellboy and Sheehan as Misfits’ Nathan Young.

It must be reiterated, however, that this is at no fault of their own. Both actors bring an heir of watchability to their unremarkable surroundings as they spout sarcasm and diligence respectively. Foy, too, balances inherent innocence and genuine menace – adding the only trace of anything resembling ambiguity in Season of the Witch – until she is unceremoniously replaced by an N64- esque splattering of pixels, that is. Stephen Graham (who I’ve, like, totally interviewed), meanwhile, struggles with a 14th Century accent but still manages to make an impression with his disproportionately brief screentime.

The primary problem with Season of the Witch, however, is that it is just so shamelessly generic. As the characters travel to Village #3 in search of The Key of Soloman, it is unbelievable just how little you care whether or not they actually find it. This is largely thanks to Cage, who, as we have come to expect, fails to distinguish his character from any of the others he has portrayed. Faceless, stilted and boasting a ridiculous-even-for-him wig, Cage’s Behmen only looks less charismatic when stood next to the endlessly compelling Perlman. The script unengaging enough to begin with, matters are only exasperated by Cage’s trademark delivery.

Season of the Witch is an unforgivably dull, poorly structured and basically drama-free movie which wastes a strong cast in Nicolas Cage’s inherently boring shadow. Not even unintentionally funny, the movie nevertheless has glimmers of hope which are quickly buried under budget effects and a truly dreadful script.

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About popcornaddiction
I am a psychology graduate, a News Writer for HeyUGuys/BestforFilm and, most importantly, a hopeless popcorn addict.

2 Responses to Season of the Witch (2010)

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Season of the Witch (2010) « popcornaddict -- Topsy.com

  2. Bang on as ever. Bravo!

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