Ten Sequels I’m Beginning To Worry Will Never Happen

Sequels have a bad reputation. And, at a time when further instalments are announced before the release of their predecessors, when franchises are resurrected long after they have ceased to be relevant and prequels somehow ruin lives, it is not difficult to see why.

But while the near misses and false starts have been well documented (did you know that a script was written for a Se7en follow up called Ei8ht? And that it would see a returning Morgan Freeman solve crimes with his newfangled psychic powers? Of course you did), less attention is directed at the sequels that really should have been.

Indeed, with the recent reports that the cast of Kick-Ass are being approached in connection with a planned sequel (to start filming this summer for a 2013 release), marking possibly the biggest step forward for the project since Mark Miller’s last assurance on the matter, I couldn’t help but think about the other sequels that we had been promised over the years, but which have remained sadly unrealised. Seriously, what if these films never happen?

Serenity 2

Considering Joss Whedon’s recent success with The Avengers (which at the time of writing stands proud as the third highest grossing movie in box office history), it is reasonable to assume that the world is very much his doting oyster. With a couple of smaller pet projects (including a version of Much Ado About Nothing filmed in his own home), comic-book continuations of some of his best loved works and a highly anticipated sequel to Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog all in the works – not to mention a possible return to direct The Avengers 2 – it is difficult to imagine where a sequel to 2006’s Serenity could realistically fit in.

Jumper 2

Athough 2008’s Jumper left many cold, a characteristically wooden central performance from Hayden Christensen doing little to win audiences over, the film’s premise was nevertheless bursting with potential. Attempting to bring some realism to the concept of teleportation, director Doug Liman delivered some truly spectacular set pieces from exotic locations around the world. Despite Christensen’s continued assurances that a sequel is in the works, however, there has been very little movement on behalf of the project in the years since – other than for co-star Jamie Bell to voice his reservations regarding the original film.

John Carter 2

Having failed to attract audiences in the numbers required to recoup its $250 million budget (except in Russia, anyway, where the film went on to break box office records), John Carter had barely broken even when it disappeared unceremoniously from cinemas. Originally planned by director Andrew “I wouldn’t know what to do with $5 million” Stanton as the first in a trilogy – aren’t they all, plans were put on hold as a result of the film’s abysmal performance. Whether crippled by a last-minute title change (goodness knows how badly it might have done with “Of Mars” still attached, huh Disney?), poor marketing or the film’s use of increasingly unfashionable 3D,  it is unlikely we’ll see parts II or III any time soon. A shame, really, as Barsoom had so much more to give. Issus willing, anyway.

South Park 2

Probably the biggest wild card on this list, South Park has done very little to invite speculation as to the possibility of another film, the show’s creators insisting that any sequel would most likely be used to end the TV show – very much still in its prime. The first – 1999’s musical masterpiece Bigger, Longer and Uncut – brought television’s crudest quartet to the big screen with a story that poked satirical fun at everything from American foreign policy and Canadian industry to the rulings of the MPAA. Although creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker followed it up with puppet-powered action comedy Team America: World Police, Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman are surely well overdue a fowl-mouthed follow-up? That’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

The X-Files 3

When The X-Files: I Want To Believe came out in August 2008, many of the franchise’s loyal fans were understandably disappointed by director Chris Carter’s refusal to address any of the narrative threads left dangling at the end of the television show’s nine season run. With the mythology’s apocalypse set for 2012 and an alien colonisation already underway, many were hoping for answers. Heck, more questions would have been preferable to a two-hour place holder better suited to a mid-season filler episode than a summer tentpole. With the threequel still cropping up in interviews and both Mulder and Scully open to return, however, there’s always a chance. The truth is still out there, it’s just a question of whether we’ll ever find it.

Kill Bill: Volume 3

There weren’t many people left standing (or even propped up on stumps) at the close of Kill Bill: Volume 2, but according to Quentin Tarantino there were more than enough for a second sequel. Tentatively scheduled for 2014 and unlikely to actually be called Kill Bill anything, the film was as of 2009 rumoured to chronicle the attempted revenge of Nikki Green after having watched her mother’s death at the hands of Uma Thurman’s The Bride. With Tarantino’s Django Unchained scheduled for a January U.K. release, Volume 3 would probably have to be his next film in order to meet a 2014 deadline.

Gremlins 3

Their beautiful (if brief) appearance in a 2008 BT advert aside, we have heard very little from either Gizmo or his gremlin relatives since their 80s heyday. Despite the twenty plus year gap since The New Batch erupted in 1990, the Gremlins brand has endured and questions regarding the much discussed second sequel have shown no sign of abating. With original writer Chris Columbus and executive producer Steven Spielberg denying that a reboot is in the works (and Columbus even quoted as suggesting “It would be fun to go back and revisit them“), it seems that there is very little actually in the way of a third instalment. Unfortunately, even with the economic potential of a 3D overhaul, it just doesn’t seem to be happening.

Hellboy 3

Somewhat overlooked back in 2008 as everyone delighted at Iron Man’s charisma and fawned over Batman’s growly voice, Hellboy II: The Golden Army quietly improved on its forebear with bigger effects and quieter character moments, delivering what was in my opinion the superhero movie of the summer. Planned by visionary director Guillermo del Toro as a trilogy, Hellboy III would conclude the story of Anung Un Rama – if only del Toro could find a spare five minutes in his schedule and Ron Perlman could be convinced to return to the make-up chair for another round of prosthesis. While these delays might be fine for Hellboy creator Mike Mignola (who would quite understandably like to tell the story first himself), it’s most certainly not OK with the rest of us.

Jurassic Park IV

A Development Hell mainstay, the Jurassic Park franchise has come dangerously close to joining its titular attractions in the distant past – it’s spent more time on the brink than most of Earth’s endangered species spliced together. While a fourth film has been in production pretty steadily over the last few years, and just about every member of the franchise’s collective cast linked with the sequel at some stage or other, Spielberg has struggled to find a script that suitably balances the action with the science. Add to that further setbacks in form of the tragic deaths of original author Michael Crichton and series special effects artist Stan Winston, and you have a film that no amount of love and fan conservation can seem to save.

Star Wars Episodes 7, 8 and 9

I know that many would place Ghostbusters III very firmly on this list, but it is my top 10 and I for one have grown too tired of Bill Murray’s changeable mind to care anymore. Much more enticing is the possibility of another Star Wars trilogy, particularly given the narrative freedom that would liberate Episodes 7, 8 and 9 from the shadows of the original trilogy, saving it from at least one of the criticisms that befell the under-appreciated prequels. With George Lucas set to retire from big budget filmmaking, no doubt dispirited by his truly shocking treatment at the hands of fanboys ‘slighted’ by his later works, it really is a shame that we might never see Lucas’ completed trilogy of trilogies. As the princess once said to the smuggler, “would it help if I got out and pushed?’

*I originally wrote this article to be published over at HeyUGuys.

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About popcornaddiction
I am a psychology graduate, a News Writer for HeyUGuys/BestforFilm and, most importantly, a hopeless popcorn addict.

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